This thing called life...

I can't believe how long it has been since I last updated this site. I sit here, with my mind racing over all that life has brought to us since April of last year, and I realize, I haven't written for good reason. You see, Rick might hear my complaining, my parents might hear my complaints, and even my sister from time to time, but I don't want to come off negative, so I have chosen to remain silent. I will break my silence now...

Sometimes life seems to be one big roller coaster ride. Rick and I are still reeling from his job loss back in 2009. It really is too bad that there isn't a manual for how to bounce back from the negative things in life. Unfortunately, because of our own pride, anger, and sudden lack of faith, we have made choices that have effected our entire family and continue to effect our emotions.

As many of you know, we have moved a ton of times. Of all of those moves, the last one has been the toughest. We always considered Amarillo to be our Nineveh, so you can imagine how happy we were to leave this place when Rick lost his job. The problem with Nineveh...Jonah was called there, just as we feel we have been called back to Amarillo.

In August of last year, we were so excited to leave California, to start working on furthering our education in Tennessee. When we crossed the CA line into AZ, Rick and I gave each other high fives! We could visualize our future for the first time in a while, and we were so excited. God had other plans for us though. We spent the night in Amarillo with some close friends and had planned to get back on the road around noon the next day. However, when we got up and checked our e-mail, the school was alerting me that there was a problem with my financial aid and they had me in the wrong degree program. This left us with a big decision...do we continue on to Tenn.? or do we stay in Amarillo? This decision was not an easy one, and believe me, we have wondered from time to time if we made the right one. Amarillo it was...So, here we are with mixed emotions.

For those of you who keep up with Rick on Facebook, you see that we have had a struggle with church and the complacency of people. There are a lot of wonderful people here, but it is difficult to find connection. Most of the people who live here grew up here and are comfortable here. Coming from Mt. Vernon, WA, I cannot fault them for what they have not experienced...I really was no different than them. Our experiences have changed us in big ways and as easy as it is to place blame, we have made the choices that have caused us to stretch and grow. Unfortunately, it has also made it difficult to know where we fit and has made it difficult to find people who relate to you and offer encouragement. Sometimes we feel like we are out here all alone.

Kiahna has been struggling as well. This school year started out on a bad foot and she still hasn't recovered. It is amazing to us what teachers are allowed to get away with, and how badly they can effect a small child. We are still trying to learn the specifics of what happened at her school, through counseling, but we only know a little. We did not like the way her teacher was with her last year and hoped for a new start this year. Unfortunately, that was not the case and we made the decision to move her to a new school (closer to our home). The damage was done however, and she started panicking so much that she couldn't even make it through a day at school. She is now home-bound, with a teacher coming to our home four days a week. We are hoping to get her back inside the classroom after the holidays, with the help of her new teacher, her counselor, and psychiatrist. She has been diagnosed with severe school anxiety/panic disorder.

There have been positives too...Rick went back to work for the YMCA. He worked for the Y when we first started dating and it has always been his passion. In a few short months, he went from working with their summer camp program, to marketing, to now being an executive director. He loves what he does, for the first time in years. He is also back in school, with the hopes of graduating sometime next year.

Trevon and Kiahna have been busy with sports. Trevon played baseball for the first time this year. He had the best coach you could ever hope for. He played on an experienced team, most of whom were two years older than him. They only lost one game this season and were awarded the first place trophy. Kiahna played soccer for the first time. She loves soccer. She definitely lacks aggression on the field, but she has great skill.

Jonah is something else. He is funny and cute, but also exhausting as he goes through his terrible twos. His personality is unlike any one of us. It is like we are a family of firstborns with this happy, smiley, clown of a boy.

I have recently gone back to work part-time. I have feared going back to work after so many years, but have found it to be a nice break. I work at the church two mornings a week and work for a social service agency on the weekends. I work with toddlers at church and domestic violence families on the weekend. I really do feel blessed to have these opportunities.

I have great hopes for our future, but one thing at a time. First, we want to see our little Kiahna girl return to her happy self...free of fear and enjoying school like she once did. Second, for our family to find connection and friends to enjoy life with. If we have to live in Amarillo, we want to love it here, find purpose here, and live everyday for the One who hears our prayers, our Lord Jesus Christ.